i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i out mim tonsoeep
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
