How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
