He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
