How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
