is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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