i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Do vagina's smell?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
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