READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
