can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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