there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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