I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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