it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
