Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
this hospital has no fireball
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
