Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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