So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
