its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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