you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
