Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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