I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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