That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
