Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
