i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
