i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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