I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
