For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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