And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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