Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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