Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
