You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
