If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
