Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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