dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
