When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
