one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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