i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
