If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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