I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i barfeds in our rink
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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