I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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