My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
