As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
