Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I could fuck to npr.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize
