FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
