Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
