There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
