dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
