Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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