ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
