im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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