No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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