i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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