Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
