Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
