My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize